I Gave Oprah One Hour, and She Gave Me a Whole New World

Sometimes, the universe reaches out to you in mysterious ways. Your Uber account is credited $50. A real live human answers when you dial for customer service. A secret admirer sends your co-worker a dozen Cronuts, and she wants to share. You refresh your inbox and between the spam and the million Bed, Bath & Beyond emails, you find this: "Master Class: Oprah - Tuesday, October 25 @ 11:30am."

When the cosmos rewards you beyond your wildest dreams, you do not wait. Reader, you do not wait for the rest of the missive to materialize in your browser. You do not wait for your boss to forward it to you, wanting to know: "MK u up for this!?" You do not wait to check your calendar. You RSVP. Because when a goddess, a titan, the bespectacled answer to all the prayers you didn't even know you'd offered up to the heavens above graces the Hearst Tower and invites you to witness it, you do not hesitate.

For the next hour, Oprah gave out wisdom like free cars.

Of course, I didn't. Meet her, that is. I didn't even see her—not really.
Despite the fact that I went downstairs to wait in line a full 20 minutes before attendees were supposed to even be allowed to assemble, I found a crowd triple the size of the theater had already gathered by the time I arrive.
A kindly gent let me know that some people had started to hover around 8:30 a.m., pretending to sip coffees on the couches until they were allowed to queue up. At this point, hundreds had trickled in. "They're streaming on Facebook Live," a fellow traveler said. So, I raced up to my desk and plugged in my headphones.

"Don't @ me!" I cried, except I didn't, because that doesn't exactly make sense and everyone knew I was in a deep state of focus, anyway. "I'm gonna watch Oprah!"

For the next hour, Oprah gave out wisdom like free cars. She talked disappointment, success, power, and positivity. She copped to bad hair and a bubble bath obsession. She out Kondo'd Marie. She out Jobs'd Steve. She smized so hard Tyra probably shivered a little. And by the time it was over, she'd gobbled up all the advice I've ever been given, tied it in a bow with her teeth, and handed it back to me. It was so impressive, so awesome that I may have blacked out a little. But then I came to and wrote down her seven best lessons so that you, too, can glimpse the divine. Here goes.

Stop dreaming

When Oprah was in her early thirties, she gave up on dreams. That's crazy, you say. It can't be! But it is. "I stopped dreaming my own dreams," she said, "and realized that God or whatever name you use for God—that energy forcefield in your life, that which is greater than yourself...whatever name you use—I realized that I would be more powerful if I stepped into the dream that creation had for me. I stopped dreaming and I allowed myself to be in the dream that God...had for me. And my life opened up and changed."
"You think this is a masterclass? Your entire life is a class."

Listen, people. Life isn't always going to be a walk in the park, and Oprah gets it. Sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, it feels like it might break you. But it won't. You can survive it! All that bad stuff that seems like setbacks are opportunities. Let Oprah explain: "Everything that is happening to you is also happening for you. You think this is a masterclass? Your entire life is a class and every choice and thought you've ever made is a part of a life lesson that is your class here on earth."

"You cannot hear the still, small voice of your instinct, your intuition, what some people call God, if you allow the noise of the world to drown it out"

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